My birthday and Mother's Day often fall on the same day or very close together. This year, for instance, Sunday was Mother's Day and Monday was my birthday. For me, this basically means that I get a small Christmas smack dab in the middle of May. Bring on the goodies.
I know that many moms want strings of pearls or new vacuums and things like that. I pride myself on being not the conventional mom so there was no request for a Dyson for me. Being the Grade A bookworm that I am, I asked to go to Borders so that I could forgo the mom like jewelry for reading material instead.
That day I picked up three or four juicy little gems to enjoy. I would say that my biggest find wasn't a cookbook or Potty Training for Dummies. Instead, I bought this little ditty about stripping. Now, I'll be the first one to tell you that I am doing the world a favor by keeping my clothes on and my ass at least ten feet away from a pole. Civilization as we know it is better when I am fully dressed. Thank God for all of us then that this was not a how-to.
Candy Girl is a memoir by the one and only Diablo Cody. Before reading this book, I had seen Juno and I thought that she was a genius. That is one of the best written character movies that I have seen in a while. I could only hope that I would be able to create such a wonderful character as Juno who is snarky and witty. I'd also love to come up with such pieces of literary gold as the phrases "pork swords" and "shut your gob". So, when I picked up this book and looked at the cover, I knew instantly that I would get it.
I knew that Diablo Cody had spent a year as a stripper in Minnesota. Frankly, if I were going to take my clothes off (I'm not, but I'm just saying) I wouldn't EVER do it in Minnesota. TNE all the way. But I digress. What I didn't know when I started reading was that someone could write a book about their stripping experiences that could be poignant, hilarious, and gross all at the same time.
Let me tell you, this woman has balls. BIG ONES. In my life, I've only met one woman with this attribute (Julie that's you) and I think that Ms. Cody goes beyond even her. To back up her big ones is so much talent--more than I could ever even hope to receive. Pretty soon, she's going to have a show on Showtime and I'm thinking about cancelling our HBO subscription so we can switch over and watch her genius. This means that I would lose Entourage so I'm still pondering.
Diablo, in case you are reading this, (I know I know. She's not going to read this, but let me pretend, okay?) I just want to say that you are the shit. How you could sit behind a Plexiglas screen and watch a man lick the gizz laden floors of a porn store without tossing your cookies is beyond me but thanks for sharing that moment. It was enlightening. I really hope that you don't sell out and become all fake like Kevin Smith. Way to make it!
I have a new literary hero and it came from the most unlikely place imaginable.
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