If there were to be a poll of women everywhere, each one would confess that they have certain essentials that stay in their purse. It would be a list of various and sundry objects that they possible couldn't live without. Since some women take more upkeep than others, the list--and thus the size of the purse--could vary greatly. I consider myself to be on the low end of the upkeep spectrum, yet the size of my purse is sometimes rather large because of the items that I deem to be essential to my everyday life.
If one were to dump my current handbag--a polka dotted, multi pocket number with many compartments--out on the table this very moment, some mya be surprised at what they would find inside. Sure I have the usual suspects such as a small bag of make up, my identification and wallet, and three or so flavors of lipgloss. I also carry some migraine medicine because I am a regular sufferer. If I were a betting gal, I would guess that just about every woman has something similar in their purse. It's the other things that may be surprising.
For years, I never went anywhere without a pair of boys underwear lodged in my bag. When potty training, this is almost a necessary evil. I just to get a kick out of "accidentally" pulling them out and watching the eyes of everyone around me. I also almost always have a pair of flip flops tucked into a side pocket of my purse. No matter the weather, when the feet have had enough of the heels, it is flip flop time. For me, my my necessary object is not something that I can wear, eat or take. It is a book that I fondly call my happy list.
It started when I was in the middle of a crisis and someone commented that I was such an Eeyore that I couldn't come up with one good thing to be happy about. Well, I looked at this as a challenge and grabbed a blank journal to start keeping account. I did this begrudgingly, I might add. Little did I know that this goading would enrich my life tenfold and help me be able
to find God's blessings--small and large-- in the heart of every day.
I have found that if I take a few moments each day to write down some of things that have made me smile, it puts me in a better mood. I spend my day trying to find the good things rather than focusing on all that is going on around me. An added bonus is that later on, I have a record of all of the good things and even if they have long passed, the memories tend to bring back that long lost smile. There have been many a time when I have looked at something on my list and said, "wow, that was a good time," or, "for a moment in time, someone actually loved me enough to say or do that".
I have my own self imposed rules for my happy list. First, people cannot be put on my list. They are not objects and should not be treated as such. Things that people say or do can be added but not the people themselves. I do have to admit, though, that the UPS guy and Ryan Gosling are both in my book. This is going to sound horrible but I have totally objectified them and in my mind's eye, they aren't really people. Terrible, I know. Another rule is that I try to shoot for about five things a day. Do I always get there? No. Some days I totally forget that I even have a happy list. Some months (August) I get nothing. I think,however, that if I would have forced myself to think of a few things in the midst of the madness, things may have just looked up. There are other days when I can easily list ten or even twenty things. On those dats, I don't hold back. After all, this is about my memories. I want all of the good ones that I can get.
So what's on my happy list, one might wonder? It varies from day to day and I try not to put down the same thing twice. I've noticed that most of the items fit into a few categories. First, there are bunches and bunches of experiences. Flipping through, the ones that stand out quickly are picking apples, when Drew whispers "I love you" in his sleep and taking the dog on golfcart rides. Most of them are mundane but things that make me smile. There are also places such as Acadia National Park and Disney World that have made the cut. But, some like my front porch and a certain campfire are more private.
I have a whole list of "things" too. Some are products that range from my favorite Burt's Bees lip balm to "I'm Not Really a waitress" nail polish by OPI. Some are more abstract such as kissing (come on, who doesn't like that?), stories about Alpha Males, cuddling. Others are food related like Cherry Berry Chillers and Dole WHip floats from Disney.
The last large part of my list is emotional--meaning different emotions or states of being. I've listed having clarity, determination, and being surrounded by people that I love in my book. Also down is good pain, exercise high, and lazy days spent in bed.
The one thing that I won't list are a few choice things that people have said to me over the last year or so. Some of them are so deeply personal that I can't even begin to share them here.
My Happy List isn't necessarily private. I don't go waving it around for the whole world to see. But, some people whom I love and trust have seen it. They've had the opportunity to flip through my book, which is a lot like flipping through the best parts of my brain. By opening this part of myself up to them, they are able to see how I work and what fills my heart. It's a big deal to do this to me, because I'm showing someone my heart and soul. That's hard.
I've gifted a few people with a Happy List book because I feel that this daily exercise teaches someone about themselves. I've certainly learned a lot about myself. It has taught me to search for the good things in every situation. Of course, I can't always pull myself to do that but at least my eyes are open now to trying.
Here's to adding more to the list and to having more unbelievable moments in my life. Some will be small quiet moments, some will blow my mind. Some will be fleeting and some will last a lifetime. A few will include other people and some will be just me but all are reflective of the life I'm living. I'm learning how to seize the day with the little moments.
Happiness is where you find it. Sometimes I need to remind myself to look around and capture even just a small spark.
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